


Everyone's Pretending

by juggiebettyy



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: 1x07 got me fucked up so I fixed it, Allie's a softie, F/M, Harry continues to break my heart, back at it again with some short and sweet bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 15:27:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19379500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juggiebettyy/pseuds/juggiebettyy
Summary: Allie's finally ready to crumbleOR,How that scene in 1x07 should have gone





	Everyone's Pretending

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with another short and sweet lil' drabble to tie down the hounds until I have enough of the multi-chap I'm working on (hold the gasps) to feel comfortable posting it. I must seriously be a slut for character-driven pieces because all of the actual dialogue is straight from the show, I just went in and examined the kind of emotions Allie and Harry would've been feeling and fixed their actions accordingly. Anywho, enough of my babbling, leave me a comment if you liked it because I'm thirsty for validation and have a very happy reading!

The room looks like a disaster. It smells like old noodles and gym socks. But he looks even worse. Allie enters Harry’s room alarmed, wrinkling her nose as she crosses the threshold. She holds back a gasp at the stark contrast of the ethos that usually surrounded cool-guy Harry Bingham, compared to the dark hole he seems to drag around him now. The last time she had been in this room he had reminded her that she had a life to live. Now it seemed as though he didn’t want to live at all. 

His pale skin shown in the lamp-light that illuminated the dank room. His once toned physique was lying limp in sheets that look like they had seen war. His own eyes look like they had seen war. She makes her way over to his side, noting the flannel bedspread that she had seen not too long ago, looking crumpled and misshapen as it dances along the edges of his fidgeting hand. It’s the only thing around him moving. Even the air lay still as if it were holding its breath, waiting for someone to make a decisive move.

“Are you OK”, Allie asks, trying to be louder than she feels. 

“I don’t wanna see anyone.” He shifts his hips slowly, curling his toes as if the sound of his own voice made him feel unsettled. “Especially you” 

“You don’t have to be ashamed. I think we know each other pretty well - unless you forgot about the last time I was in this room.” flashes of his hands on her abdomen pierce behind her eyes and leap their way to her heart. He was so confident then. Now he was a hermit crab without his shell. She feels her own shell start to break, but she forces herself to squeeze out some more glue. She can’t falter. Not in front of him. Not right now. 

“This is different”, Harry says, eyes stuck on his knee. His voice is quiet still, vulnerable. 

“I get it. K, I get it,” she says. She doesn’t. She knows she doesn't. But she’s searching for anything to seem stronger and more sure of herself. “After Cassandra died I didn’t wanna do anything.” Her voice grows louder as she works her lips around each word in her speech. “I mean fuck people. Fuck, food. Fuck everything.” Her back straightens out and she starts to believe what she’s saying. She can feel her eyes unfocus, tears forming as she averts her gaze to a spot on the headboard above Harry’s head to stop them from falling and showing the weakness she was just beginning to cover. “I wanted to just lay in bed, and never get out”

Harry inhales deeply, nose wrinkling up to stop his own tears from escaping. “And then you got up,” he says, knowing where she’s trying to go with her speech. The sides of his mouth twitch. “Good for you.”

“Cuz I had no choice,” she sways closer to the bed, reaching to sit down next to him, “and honestly, neither do you. You have to get back up. Because if I let you sink it makes it Ok for other people to do that too and that’s suicide.” His body shakes. Her front is beginning to come down. She can feel it. “You have to get up,” she’s pleading now, begging for him to become whole again. “You have to get up and get back to work.” She touches his wrist and he grabs on. She knows it’s over. She knows she’s starting to shed. Harry’s eyes close as his thumb rubs a circle into her wrist. A single tear falls down Allie’s cheek. Followed by another one. And another one. ”And It’s not gonna make you feel any better, it’s not gonna make this suck any less.” The tears are coming down tenfold now, and her voice is cracking in a million different places at once. She knows they both don’t believe anything she’s saying anymore. Neither of them do. His grip on her loosens and he stirs only to grab onto her waist to pull her down close to him. Her chest heaves when his hands move to the nape of her neck. She can feel his breath shutter as he begins to twirl a strand of her hair between his fingers. “But it’s the rule,” her lips shake as she exhales, “and it’s how we survive”. Her eyes close and she breathes in fully for the first time since she’d entered the room. She smells him.

Allie’s words no longer mattered. The guards stationed at the door no longer existed. It was only them, together in the humidity created by tears and shitty ventilation, breaking down after months of desperately trying to duct tape everything together. The seals were already too broke, and the floodgates were beyond repair. His stubble brushes along her head when she burrows in closer to his chest, arms reaching to embrace him back. Their legs tangle into spaghetti and their breaths become one. Her snot and tears soak his already stained sweater. The top of her hair becomes wet with his own sadness.

They say everyone’s breaking, and some people are just better at hiding it. In the long run, Allie figures they both suck at pretending. But she didn’t care anymore. She knows the moment she made contact with him her facade would fall and she’d have to step out of the shadows. Maybe it was OK, though, to be broken. Their world was crumbling quite literally just as fast as they were, but maybe all that really matters is that they have somebody to piece the puzzle back together again. Maybe that’s all he needed. And maybe she could help. 

She was sick of pretending to be cold because that’s how she thinks a leader should act. She’s sick of trying to be Cassandra because clearly, that isn’t working. She’s ready to just be herself again and she wonders if maybe she’s never been purely her. But she wants to be. She wants to be her own kind of leader, one that cares.

The speech she had prepared was supposed to end with a warning about his rations being cut. Will and Gordie and the others had practiced it with her. Allie’s not so sure she’ll be able to finish it now. She didn’t want to say anything else she didn’t believe in. She was done with everyone pretending.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave me comment/criticism/concern here or over on my tumblr, @grizzsbizz. Thanks heaps!


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